âI think the biggest word that sums up that first record for me is grateful,â she says, curled up on the aforementioned couch wearing a light-pink hoodie and yoga pants, her signature blonde hair in a ponytail. âBeing thankful because it got my foot in the door. After 25 years Iâm so proud of it. I think to sustain anything for a lengthy amount of time takes a lot of work and dedication and passion. There are many elements that go into being able to build something.â
Her sentiments seem genuine: A âGenieâ-inspired lamp sits on her studio shelf, and she still performs the song liveâalbeit remixed from its original, highly familiar arrangement.
"I have a lot of fun re-creating âGenie in a Bottle,ââ she says. âI interpret it differently, depending on which show or which tour or which genre weâre going for, what audience Iâm playing for, what country. Itâs really fun to be able to creatively do different things with those songs from the first album.â
Born in the New York City borough of Staten Island, in the winter of 1980, Aguilera moved around often growing upâTexas one year, New Jersey another, even Japan. Her father was an Army man and, Aguilera has alleged, abusive. To cope, she says, sheâd look out windows and sing songs from The Sound of Music, envisioning a calmer, better life for herself and her mother. Even though she was young, it was obvious she had the voiceâsoulful, virtuosic, and undeniably powerfulâto create circumstantial change.
âI donât know if I would be the singer or performer I am, or have the success I do, had I not been through my childhood,â Aguilera says. âIt gave me a real purpose of, Iâm going to fight my way through these feelings. Iâm going to fight my way past someone that has wronged me.â
This fighting spirit helped a nine-year-old Aguilera land a spot on the massively popular talent competition show Star Search, losing to a 12-year-old boy. Three years later it was off to Florida when she landed a gig singing and dancing on The Mickey Mouse Club alongside fellow burgeoning stars Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and Ryan Gosling. By age 15 she was in New York City with one goal: landing a record deal.
Most millennials remember hearing âGenie in a Bottleâ incessantly during the summer of â99, and the song hit number one in a slew of countries, went double platinum, and scored Aguilera her first Grammy nomination. On the heels of the megahit, she churned out two more chart-toppers in quick succession: âWhat a Girl Wantsâ and âCome on Over Baby (All I Want Is You).â In a matter of months, her position as teen-pop royalty was solidified.
Coincidentally, this royal court also included Aguileraâs Mouseketeer pals Spears and Timberlake (as one-fifth of the boy band âNSync). They arrived at a pivotal time in pop, when candy-coated, seemingly factory-made acts reigned supreme. For many in this genreâwhich also included Jessica Simpson and Mandy Mooreâsuccess didnât necessarily seem to hinge on unique artistic vision, palpable authenticity, or even once-in-a-generation talent.
âI didnât love the bubblegum thing, where you had to play a virgin but not act like one.â
To reach the stratosphere, all you needed was objective good looks, a headset mic (turned on or not), TRL-ready moves, and songs engineered for maximum catchiness (they didnât even have to make sense).
But it was clear Aguilera had something a little different. Mainly that voice, which undeniably had more range and grit than her direct peersâ. Early critics were quick to note Aguileraâs âpowerhouse pipesâ in a way that set her apart from the herd. She tried to show this as much as possible on her first record but ultimately felt âboxed inâ by the moment.
âI didnât love the bubblegum thing, where you had to play a virgin but not act like one,â she says. âWhen I was performing âGenieâ and âWhat a Girl Wantsâ and âCome on Over,â I got bored easily. Creatively, it was one-dimensional.â
She also barely had time to breathe. âLiterally every second [of my life then] was accounted for in a schedule,â she says. âYou canât just live your life for work where itâs unenjoyable. You get burnt out.â
By 2000 Aguilera became exactly that. She was opening for R&B girl group TLC, planning her first headlining show, and recording both a Spanish and a Christmas album. âPower throughâ became her mantra; there were no mental-health check-ins, no meaningful time off. âI was navigating it all by myself,â Aguilera says.
So she set out to find a new team who put artist before industryâpeople who werenât afraid to say, âShe needs a beat. She needs a minute to really work on her thing creatively.â The result was her second major pop album, which not only put her voice center stage but definitively helped her shed the dime-a-dozen teenybopper persona for good.
How to talk about 2002âs Stripped? The video for the album's lead single, âDirrty,â saw Aguilera greased up and grimy, with black streaks in her hair and kohl-rimmed eyes. Clad in now-iconic assless chaps, she gyrated wildly in a boxing ring and snarled, â[Iâm] sweatinâ âtil my clothes come off.â It shocked everyone, it was all we could talk about, weâre still talking about it. (While speaking to Aguilera in 2019, Andy Cohen recalled watching âDirrtyâ for the first time with his good friend Sarah Jessica Parker: âOur mouths were on the floor.â) It was during this era that Xtina, her defiant alter ego, was born.
With âDirrty,â Aguilera got our attention, then wisely used this reintroduction to assert her artistry in a way we hadnât seen from her or anyone like her. âDirrtyâ was perfectly aggressive and defiantâkey characteristics for the new Xtinaâbut it was the albumâs next single, âBeautifulâ that felt truly provocative. At face value, itâs a soaring ballad about embracing your individuality. But the music videoâwhich depicts two men kissing and a transgender woman dressingâwas a true act of radicalism in the face of Americaâs puritanical, conservative Bush years. Aguilera dedicated âBeautifulâ to the LGBTQ+ community, and it earned her a special-recognition honor at the 2003 GLAAD Media Awards.
The backlash to Stripped was immediate and inevitable. One critic quipped that Aguilera looked as if sheâd arrived on the set of the âDirrtyâ video direct from âan intergalactic hooker convention.â Another called her the âworldâs skeeziest reptile woman.â But Aguilera had never felt more sure about her art.
âI think it was just a matter of believing so wholeheartedly in my vision, which was to fight for sexuality,â she tells meâfittingly, with her topless January 2003 Maxim cover in a frame on the wall next to us.
Bucking convention catapulted Aguilera to idol status. Stripped cemented her fan base and became a soundtrack for the outcasts, foreshadowing pride anthems such as Lady Gagaâs âBorn This Wayâ and Keshaâs âWe R Who We R.â Many consider it her magnum opus.
âItâs easy to say that Christinaâs legacy is her vocals, but for me itâs been more than that,â Demi Lovatoâwho appeared on Aguileraâs 2018 song âFall in Lineâ from her Liberation albumâtells me over email. âSheâs taught me to never dim my light and to always be myself, whether thatâs with my sexuality or my confidence. Her legacy is teaching people to stay true to who they are.â
The acclaimed podcast Pop Pantheon recently dedicated an episode to Aguileraâs impact, and its creator and host, DJ Louie XIV, tells me there are people in his life who still say how massively affected they were by Stripped. âThe fact that the âBeautifulâ video showed same-sex relationships and Christinaâs own presentation was going against certain beauty standards of that period had a large impact on endearing people to her long-term,â he says. âShe realized there were people feeling othered by how âprom king and queenâ pop had become at that moment.â ââââ
âOther peopleâs opinions of me are not my business.â
Aguilera could ignore jabs about Stripped, but other things arenât as easy to shake off when youâre literally at the nexus of the notoriously ruthless â00s tabloid culture and its hyperfixation on young women. Jessica Simpson, youâll recall, was globally lambasted for wearing mom jeans as a size 27. Every inch of Nicole Richieâs and Lindsay Lohanâs bodies were chronicled in tabloids as if they were matters of national importance. Aguilera inevitably fell victim to the body-policing vultures. The noise was so loud that she stopped watching late-night shows for a while because of the incessant jokes aimed at her and others in her cohort.
Aguilera says the mediaâs obsession with her weight was particularly painful and that much of her self-esteem then was based on âhow skinny I was.â âWhen youâre a teenager, you have a very different body than when youâre in your 20s,â she says. âI started to fill out, and then that was unacceptable because it was like, âOh, sheâs getting thicker.â Then I had industry people: âThey liked your body and how you were as a skinny teenager.ââ
Age and time have helped Aguilera be less affected by the worldâs judgmentsâabout her body, her work, her sexuality, everything. âI have a maturity now where I just donât give a fuck about your opinion. Iâm not going to take it on,â she says. âIt must be your responsibility to take up your space. Other peopleâs opinions of me are not my business.â
Aguilera hopes to instill this mindset in her children. (She has a daughter, Summer Rain, with fiancĂ© Matt Rutler and a son, Max, from a previous marriage.) âYour kids trigger things in you that you donât want them to go through,â she says. âAnd itâs almost like youâre reliving this whole thing again.â
âItâs such a layered, interesting thing to be a parent and watch these people, these humans, grow up.â
As we start to discuss motherhood, Aguilera tears up and tells me Iâm catching her at a âweird moment.â Max recently turned 16, Summer is 10, and more than ever sheâs feeling the pressure of parenting. She finds herself âlecturingâ and âovertalkingâ to her children, hoping the advice will keep certain hardshipsâlike the ones she experienced growing upâat bay. âIâve seen so much so young,â Aguilera says. âYou just want the best for your kids.â
Itâs clear from our conversation that a big concern for Aguilera right now is figuring out how to give Summer and Max safety but also freedom. Attempting to strike that balance has been difficult and emotional, she shares as she reaches for the tissue box in front of us.ââ
âI love my son and my daughter so much, and you do want to shield and protect them from the world,â she says, her tears intensifying. (I offer her another tissue.) âBut they have to learn their own lessons.â
One lesson Aguilera is learning as a mom in real time is how to let go. Sheâs wistful talking about years gone by, how sheâll look at old pictures of her kids and think, âIâll never see that person again.â She adds, âTheyâre going to make their own choices and mistakes that define how they want to be. Itâs such a layered, interesting thing to be a parent and watch these people, these humans, grow up.â
When Summer pops in the room unexpectedly, Aguilera warms even more. âAre you coming to check on me?â Aguilera asks her daughter. âSheâs like, âWhy do you have cry-face?â Weâre just talking about how much I love you.â
âIs [my tutor] coming?â Summer asks.
âOh, thatâs a good question,â Aguilera says softly. âShe had to cancel at the last, last minute.â
âWhy?â Summer says.
âShe said sheâs coming Monday or Tuesday,â Aguilera answers. âI donât know. Thatâs her personal business, but she had to cancel, my love.â
As Summer leaves, I notice a pair of mini guitars in Aguileraâs studioâone brown, another white with floralsâand wonder if her family ever plays music here together. Itâs not a far-fetched idea: Aguilera says her children are interested in the inner workings of her successful Las Vegas residency. Summer in particular loves hanging with the band and often joins her mom on stage for her final number. At the moment, Aguilera says, a proper tour isnât on her agenda: âI donât want to say that out loud because my fans would be very sad. But I truly do enjoy being home base and accessible to my kids.â
âIâm not here to be a programmed robot. Iâm here as a human being first before being a celebrity.â
This decision reflects a larger shift in Aguileraâs mind since the âGenieâ and Stripped years. Back then Aguilera was driven by ambition: âIt really was about this massive dream I was so dedicated to accomplishing.â But now sheâs keenly aware how all of thisâher talent, fame, and successâserves a larger purpose. âWhen youâre a mom, itâs not about narcissism. Itâs not just about you.â
Still, this doesnât mean sheâs lost her drive to keep creating. âYou have to make sure youâre not sleeping on yourself and still doing things that make you feel good,â Aguilera says.
Like making music. Fans will be thrilled to learn a new English-language album is coming. âIâve been accumulating [songs],â she says, not sharing details. âIâm actually dying to get it out. I just havenât fully had time.â (Her last three projects were in Spanish, including a full-length album, 2022âs Aguilera, which won a Latin Grammy Award.)
The new record will drop when Aguilera is readyâand not at the expense of the other joys in her life sheâs fought tirelessly for, no matter how simple. When Aguilera is off-duty, sheâs probably organizing her house as Schittâs Creek plays in the background. Sheâs also watching The Reluctant Traveler on Apple TV+, which chronicles actor Eugene Levyâs trips around the world. âThereâs something so cozy about travel shows,â she says.
Aguilera doesnât have much of an interest in going out these days, either. âI just love my space at home,â she says. âI worked really hard to create my own sanctuary, and I want to be in it and invite people in who I love and want to just laugh with.â Unwinding sometimes means wineââdry, cold, whiteââand her pool. âI love a night swim,â she says.
As our 80-minute conversation winds down, I canât resist sharing with Aguilera my favorite songs of hers. Thereâs âBobbleheadâ from 2010âs Bionic, a strange, warbly electro track that makes Charli XCXâs Brat sound tame. And âPrima Donnaâ (also on Bionic), a thunderous relic of 2010s recession pop at its most decadent. âI love that,â Aguilera says about my choices. âI love how people have these random takes sometimes.â
Random? Maybe in the larger sense of her chart-topping hits, but die-hard Fightersâas Aguileraâs fan base names itselfâhave these deep cuts on rotation. A lyric from âPrima Donnaâ feels especially resonant to her life today: âYes, Iâm grown, and I donât need no judgment on me.â Sitting beside me in her home studio, Aguilera fully embodies that word: grown. Because after two decades of challenging popâs rigid infrastructureâand changing it for goodâwhat she wants now is clearly on her terms.
âThis time in my life is about super-awareness,â she says. âI know where Iâve been. I know what Iâve loved. I know what I havenât loved. And now, more than ever, I just feel more wide-awake and more aware and more understanding. Iâm not here to be a programmed robot. Iâm here as a human being first before being a celebrity.â
Christopher Rosa is the senior editor for NBC Entertainment and a former Glamour editor. Follow him at @chris.rosa92.
Photographer: Christine Hahn
Stylist: Ryan Young
Hair: Jesus Guerrero
Makeup: Hector Espinal
Manicure: Zola Ganzorigt
Producer: Rowan Productions